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Striking a balance

Mijke Sinninghe Damsté explains how she combined family life with partnership, and how Loyens & Loeff aims to do the same for its next generation of partners

Ever since my first year in university, I knew that I wanted to become a lawyer. It seemed to be the perfect combination of finding creative solutions for challenging problems and applying social skills to reach common goals, either through litigation or negotiations. I even remember the exact moment: after winning a moot court challenge on a shareholder dispute, my ambition was to join one of our leading law firms and become the best litigator ever. That’s why, in 2005, at the age of 24, I joined Loyens & Loeff.

Being a firm that stands out in both legal and tax law (in a 50/50 combination), Loyens & Loeff is a very special breed. As a junior lawyer, I tremendously enjoyed the energetic and entrepreneurial spirit for which Loyens & Loeff is famous. And although juniors put in a lot of long hours, doing something I loved, in combination with having a steep learning curve, and being surrounded by ‘great minds’ only strengthened my ambition. In these first years I never experienced any disadvantage for being a woman. That somewhat changed with my first pregnancy.

A man’s world

After a couple of years in the firm, I met my husband. We knew pretty soon that we would want to start a family. I realised at that moment, maybe for the first time, that my thus far ‘straightforward’ work-life might become less straightforward.

A brief encounter with one of the senior partners (who left the firm quite some time ago), regretfully confirmed this when he said to me: ‘Congratulations with your pregnancy. Good for you. However, before we make any decisions on your promotion to become partner, we will first need to establish that you are able to return to practice while maintaining your capabilities and ambition.’

That was not a very reassuring message to take with me into my first maternity leave. I found this immensely unfair as I was still the same person and professional.

Communication is key

After our first child was born, I shifted my working hours slightly. Working from home in the evenings and sometimes also (parts of) the day and allowing myself more flexibility, for example by taking a break every day between 5.30pm and 8.00pm in order to have dinner with our family and putting our daughter to bed.

After returning to the office – and ‘proving’ I was still fit for the job – my promotion to partner came up in 2015, the same year we had our second daughter. In all honesty, combining a newborn with the partner promotion process was not always ideal. However, for me it was not an option to adjust my family planning to my career. Also, I did not want to slow down on my promotion and did not see any reason to do so either. I felt I was ready for it and – looking back – I can say that I was. Obviously, this is a very personal decision. Should an associate opt to pace her- or himself, waiting one or more years after starting or completing their family, this should of course be possible. Communication (on both sides) is key in that respect. In my view, this is a given, as firms should not want to waste their highly skilled and trained talent for partnership for the simple reason that somebody wants to have a family.

After being promoted to partner, life got easier: I gained more control over my agenda, without having to compromise on the quality of the work done. For instance, my team knows that I am only exceptionally available for calls between 5.30pm and 8.00pm, allowing me quality family time.

The fact that we live very close to the office in the centre of Amsterdam, also gives me flexibility. The commute from our home to Loyens & Loeff is 20 minutes by bike. School is five minutes from home and 15 from the office, making it possible to squeeze school activities into our busy work schedules (at least every now and then).

Making a difference

Soon after becoming a partner, I joined the firm’s diversity and inclusion committee, of which I am currently the chairperson. This gives me the opportunity to actively contribute to our firm’s target of having 30% female partners in 2025.

To get there, we are changing the culture of the organisation itself through awareness training (sessions for all partners, with the focus on (personal) leadership), differences in leadership styles (masculine and feminine), and changing our appraisal and career review methods. In addition, we focus on empowering our female associates, among others, by offering external and internal coaching and mentoring programmes. This is crucial at every career stage, from junior to senior associate.

In our career watchers programme female associates are mentored, coached, and helped by experienced mentors (partners in the firm). Both the mentor and mentee are encouraged to share their experiences of working at our firm. The career watchers programme is a proven success: many of the mentees in the programme actually make it to partner.

Next to creating a more diverse firm, stimulating a culture of ‘inclusiveness’ has become another main point of focus. Together with organisations like Expertise Centre on Diversity Policy (ECHO) and Forward (to encourage the acceptance, validation, and visibility of LGBT+ people), we are confident of realising this inclusive culture.

Work in progress

I now have 6-, 4-, and 1-year-old children, so combining family life with my partnership at Loyens & Loeff and my role on the D&I board is a constant work in progress – always trying to find the right balance. But I am as passionate about my family life as I am about being a lawyer and an inclusion advocate, and as long as it gives me energy, I will make it work.