When a couple splits up, they may experience a mix of confusion,
shock, guilt, frustration, grief, loss, resentment, anger,
rejection, shame and relief. The circumstances of the breakup
– who decides it’s over, whether there was infidelity,
who leaves, who initiates the divorce or civil partnership
dissolution – inevitably affect these feelings, and the way
each individual behaves and reacts. In trying to manage these
emotions and navigate the choppy waters of a separation, a soon to
be ex-spouse or partner may become unpredictable and unreliable in
the other’s eyes. Feelings of rejection and bitterness can
induce a desire to ‘hurt back’, escalating anger and
conflict, and making it impossible to reach decisions.
