Long ago, a senior partner told us that clear writing flows from
clear thinking. That might be so, but clear thinking and clear
writing do not necessarily produce the correct result. For example,
you'd have a tough time finding a legal opinion written more
clearly than Calchi v. Topco Assocs., LLC, 2024 U.S. Dist.
LEXIS 177189 (N.D. Illinois Sept. 30, 2024). Indeed, the prose is
delightful. But the outcome, at least for any card-carrying defense
hack, is regrettable.
Judge Seeger is a much better writer than we are, so we'll
liberally borrow his words to describe what happened in the
Calchi case. The plaintiff bought a bottle of over the
counter (OTC) cold medicine. "She wanted to feel better, but
she didn't want to feel drowsy. So she picked up a bottle"
of cold medicine that claimed to be "non-drowsy." She
took the medicine and became "unexpectedly drowsy." She
concluded that the medicine "was to blame for her sudden urge
to nap. She felt lousy, and then drowsy.
