Financial Services Report, Summer 2012

EDITOR'S NOTE

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to ban sodas sold in containers of more than 16 ounces. Thank you for asking our opinion. Or, as the young folks say, "no problem."

It's a brilliant idea, but doesn't go far enough. Why just soda? If we were serious about obesity, we wouldn't let Banana Republic sell pants with waists larger than 38. We could solve the problem of rowdy frat boys by making them quaff beer from vessels no bigger than a shot glass. As for those obnoxious oldsters in their earsplitting Harley Hogs trying to channel "Easy Rider"? No more motorcycles with engines larger than a hamster wheel. Wait, we're just getting warmed up. Why shouldn't government wear a corset too? Imagine if every law passed by Congress had to fit inside a Starbuck's "venti" cup. For federal regulators, we might downsize even more, say, to a Starbuck's "tall" . . . with room for milk (low fat or soy, natch).